Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Valentines strike back

The follow on from the earlier post, we were spending the day down by the pool wandering up and down to and from the bar for drinks during the day. When it got to about 4pm we decided to call it a day and we gathered up our stuff to take back to the room only to discover that my sandals were missing. I went back up to the bar to check there even though I was sure I'd left them by the sunbed, but they were nowhere to be found. I thought it a bit odd that they could have been nicked as the palm pilot or MP3 player were sitting right next to them while we'd been at the bar and are of much higher value and they were both still present and accounted for. So we went back to the room anyway (me barefoot) and them I had a thought so I said to Shelley that I'm just going back to check again and once I'd got back to the bar there was the couple who yearn for a toaster with the husband wearing my sandals. "Sorry to bother you but are you sure you've put the right sandals on?", I ask. At which point his wife looks and says to her husband, "Oh, those are like the pair you had last year!", so not only are they nicking my sandals but they are also pointing out that I'm wearing 'last year's fashion'!
He sheepishly removed them as another guy in the bar declared it was probably my beer he was drinking too.

Shirley Valantine reborn

I'm out in Greece at the moment enjoying a long looked forward to holiday in Parga. As is our want, Shelley and I quite often have to watch Shirley Valantine a little while before going in order to get more in the mood, so much of the film is still fresh in my mind. All the more bought to the fore by the conversation I had at the bar last night with a couple who "usually go to Spain". I have to say it took a lot of control not to laugh out loud as they complained that their accomodation is "a bit basic" as, woe upon woes, the shower did not have a hook in the wall! "How are you supposed to wash your hair like that? And I suppose a toaster is out of the question?"
Sadly, my dear, yes, a toaster is very much out of the question...

The Youth of Today

A few days ago Mr Cameron anounced yet another (what seems like) off the cuff policy. This time it was to deal with the delinquent youth of this country who seem to collect ASBOs as fast as my waistline collects inches over the Christmas season. The solution, he says, is to have these kids give us their summer break after GCSEs and do 6weeks off some kind of activity involing community service. Now I'm a bit vague on this, but I venture that this is because the whole scheme is a bit vague to start with; will it be compulsory? Well, no, but it will be 'universal'. How in the name of crunchie do you expect to convince a kid with three ASBOs and hobbies including common assault & scrumping for cars to giveup his free time to 'help the community? Sorry Mr Cameron, but you are living in cloud cuckoo land. If you are going to do this, then do it properly and go the whole hog: bring back National Service! And while we're at it, let's stop handing out ASBOs like they are medals and bring back birching. I have a hunch that a few less kids would be 'anti-socially behaved' in there was a good chance that they would publicly flogged if caught. Not The Nine O'Clock News had the truth of it in their 80's sketch; "Cut their goolies off! Cut'em right off!"

Confident take off

I'm currently on my outbound flight for my holiday to Greece having got off the ground after a short delay. What amused me was the message from the Captain while we waited to explain: "I'm sorry for the delay but due to the weather, the airport has invoked poor visibilty proceedures which is slowing us down a bit, and there's been some debris found on the runway which needs to be cleared before we can continue". Now to me the word "debris" being used when waiting on an airliner is not a particularly comforting one. It invokes thoughts of "bits of plane" - not a good thought when you'd really prefer the planes to stay in a single piece. I just have the feeling that the more nervous passenger's brain was busy translating the pilot's message thus: "I'm sorry for the delay but as it's really foggy the plane in front has crashed trying to take off, so we're just waiting for the wreckage to be cleared off the runway and we'll have a bash at it, OK?"

Saturday, September 08, 2007

End of an Era

Sadly today is June's last day as the Landlady of The White Swan in Stokesley. She has finally decided to pull her last pint, sell up and go on a few months holiday round Turkey, Australia and the Bahamas. Good luck June and enjoy the trip!
Ash says she will still be behind the bar under the new management and also told me that the new owner already has a few other pubs, also brews his own beer and has said he will continue the Captain Cooks Brewery going on site, selling his own beer alongside it in the Swan, and also taking the Captain Cook beers out to a wider audience in his other pubs.
As long as they keep a good traditional feel to the place and keep severing Real Ale, I guess I'll be happy but, June, you will be missed!